Mel's Final Story

Mel's son Tim writes...

My father, Melvin Martin Kieschnick, died peacefully in his sleep on December 26, 1927. He was 97 years old. As evidenced by these blog posts, he seemed to have squeezed 200 years of life into those 97 years.

Celebration of Life

Friends, family, and colleagues will gather to celebrate his life this weekend. All are welcome.

Calvary Lutheran Church. 424 Via de la Valle, Solana Beach, CA 

Saturday, January 18th 1:00 pm Pacific Time

Those unable to join in person can attend the service virtually via this LiveStream. The LiveStream will run at 1:00 pm Pacific Time, and after the service is over, the same link will be available if you'd like to watch the recording.

Memorial Gifts

Memorial gifts in his honor may be given to:

• The Calvary Endowment Fund, specifically to complete funding the Columbarium, which was very important to Mel, and where he hoped his ashes would be placed. Calvary Lutheran Church, 424 Via de la Valle, Solana Beach, CA 92075
• Survivors of Torture, an organization Mel was very involved in for many years. 
• The Center for Urban Education Ministries. 1345 N. Jefferson St. - Suite 330, Milwaukee, WI 5320

Biographies

I've collected here a few bios/obituaries that have tried to summarize his life.

This short bio written by his family

A longer bio written by his children: Dad's Life in 3 points, 10 visions, and 10 stories

The most comprehensive accounting of his career was by Steve Schmidt as part of a project documenting the top christian educators of the 20th century: Melvin Martin Kieschnick

Mel Kieschnick - Our Dad's Life in 3 points

Our Dad always had…

• 3 points
• A 10-year vision
• A story

So for each of the 10 decades of his remarkable life, we’ve collected 3 themes, a 10-year vision that guided him during that time, and a story from that time. Stories are summarized as told by Dad, and have not been verified for historical accuracy, as accuracy was, afterall, never the point of his stories.

1927-1936. Age 0-9

Walburg, TX

3 Themes

1. Family

2. Zion Lutheran Church and School

3. The Great Depression

10-year Vision

Become a major league baseball player, like his hero Mel Ott.

Story

They were playing baseball in a cow pasture, using dried cow patties for bases, when a foul ball got hit into the road. As Dad ran into the road to get the ball, he fell down, and a truck ran right over him. He just lay flat and straight between the wheels, hoping the low differential box wouldn’t hit him. After the truck passed, he retrieved the ball and the game went on.

1937-1946. Age 10-19

Walburg, TX. Austin, TX.  River Forest, IL

3 Themes

1. Athletics

2. Picking cotton

3. Leaving Texas 

10-year Vision

Become a teacher at a Lutheran school in rural Texas, just like his dad.

Story

The first time he left Texas, he was on a train in the north and all the cars on the train had both white people and black people. He asked the conductor where the white car was–not because he didn’t want to sit next to black folks, but because he had no idea that on some trains they all travelled together. The conductor told him, “White boy, you ain’t in the South no more.” Lesson learned.

1947-1956. Age 20-29

River Forest, IL. Tracy, CA. Glendale, CA

3 Themes

1. Jane and Dave

2. California

3. School teacher and principal 

10-year Vision

Get a PhD on the side, and teach at a Lutheran Teachers College

Story

Tracy, CA was the first of many low-paying, long-hour jobs that Dad threw himself into. Just as in his childhood when his father was the principal and teacher at a small, rural, Lutheran school, the new family of three was often compensated “in kind,” with gifts of fruit, nuts and meat. Decades later, every Christmas we would still receive a variety box of cans of different flavored almonds, grown by the Paulson family back in Tracy. 

1957-1966. Age 30-39

Kowloon, HK. San Antonio, TX. Maywood, IL

3 Themes

1. Hong Kong

2. 4 more kids

3. Vastly expanded world view 

10-year Vision

Create a self-sustaining Christian educational system in Hong Kong, run by Chinese, built on the principle of first giving parents what they want for their children–a solid academic education–and letting the western missionaries bear witness to their faith through their actions. This was in contrast to the prevailing vision he inherited, which was an educational system controlled by white Americans that started by converting students to Christianity, and taught academics on the side.

Story

A teacher came to the principal with a problem: a student was discovered to be in possession of an inappropriate magazine. Dad looked it over and saw that it was something called “Mad Magazine” (a favorite of Tim and John years later). He looked at it and determined it was neither pornography nor communist propaganda, so he gave it back to the kid and told him to pay attention in class. Dad swore that the kid was John Woo who went on to direct dozens of Hong Kong action classics as well as Hollywood blockbusters like Face/Off and Mission Impossible II. Dad also told us John Woo’s introduction to film production was creating film strips of Bible stories for the elementary school.

1967-1976. Age 40-49

Maywood, IL. Ann Arbor, MI. St. Louis, MO 

3 Themes

1. Moving through 4 cities and jobs

2. The 60’s (further expanded world view)

3. A wrenching split in the Church Dad had dedicated his life to

10-year Vision

Lead Lutheran education globally to a more creative, Gospel-based approach relevant to the modern world.

Story

Dad had just resigned his job working for the Missouri Synod, over what he saw as a fundamentalist take-over of the Church. He had not lined up a new job. After a career that had always seemed to go up, each job more prestigious than the last, it seemed as if his professional life had peaked. As he wrote in his blog, it was at that moment that a conversation with his sixteen-year-old daughter Peggy brought him back from the brink and made him realize that the future was full of possibilities.

1977-1986. Age 50-59

Encinitas, CA. Tuckahoe, NY. Eastchester, NY

3 Themes

1. Parent Effectiveness Training

2. New understanding of sexual diversity as something not to be fixed, or tolerated, but celebrated

3. Workshop facilitation

10-year Vision

Create a structured world-wide movement of collaborative problem solving in all types of relationships. 

Story

One day a principal of a Lutheran elementary school in NY came to him with a quandary. Drug dealers were approaching children just outside of the playground.The principal wanted to protect the children but knew that legally he could not cross the perimeter of the school to confront the drug dealers. What was the right thing to do? Dad did not hesitate. “There is only one answer. Your job is to protect the children. Cross the border.”

1987-1996. Age 60-69

Eastchester, NY. Carlsbad, CA

3 Themes

1. Urban Education

2. The Big Apple

3. Retirement 

10-year Vision

Shepherd urban schools into a new future of multiculturalism and women’s leadership.

Story

The day after the tanks rolled in, on June 5th, 1989, Dad, Tim and John had train tickets from Beijing to Xian. We found a taxi driver who said he could get us to the Beijing train station through back streets. When the traffic clogged, the driver got out to see what the holdup was. He ran back to tell us the road was blocked by overturned buses and burned vehicles, and he told us to lie on the floor of the van. We heard shots fired. The driver drove us down a series of side alleys, weaving through panicked crowds. We could see the smoke rising from Tiananmen Square as we pulled into the back of the train station. Dad offered the driver a tip, but he refused. Dad insisted. When we got on the train to Xian, we immediately heard rumors that in Xian protesters were blocking entry to the city with buses, and that troops were amassing for an assault in the north.

1997-2006. Age 70-79

Carlsbad, CA

3 Themes

1. Leading international tours

2. Transition from global service to local service

3. Retirement #2 , Retirement #3…

10-year Vision

To shoot his age on the golf course at least once each year

Story

Chengdu, Lhasa, Shigatse. It had been a long trip. Dad and the tour group he was leading, along with me, his son John, flew from Kashgar to Urumqi late and went to the hotel for four hours before heading back to the airport for an early morning flight to Dunhuang. A bus met us at the airport to take us directly to the famous Buddhist Caves there for a tour. I was tired and cranky, but didn’t dare complain, since all of the old-timers Dad had brought from Calvary Lutheran Church were cheerful and curious and full of energy. All the while, Dad bounced around the bus talking to everyone—a greatest generation moment.

2007-2016. Age 80-89

Carlsbad, CA

3 Themes

1. Blogging/Mel's Myths & Memories

2. Trying to work less

3. Staying connected with family and friends 

10-year Vision

Slow down

Story

Mom and Dad had a hot tub installed on the balcony outside their bedroom. They could take in the sunset, soaking outside in a hot tub overlooking Batiquitos Lagoon and the ocean beyond, night after night, the retiree’s dream. That was, until they accidentally locked the bedroom door behind them and were trapped on the balcony at night without their clothing. Dad, channeling his athletic past, shimmied down from the second-story balcony in his 85-year old birthday suit, crept around the house, shimmied open a window out front and climbed in by the light of the moon.

2017-2024. Age 90-97

Carlsbad, CA

3 Themes

1. Continuing to deepen his relationship with Jane

2. Stopped golfing

3. “I used to be aging. Now I am aged.”

10-year Vision

Find out what comes after

Story

Tim tells the story: We were at the 3rd amazing restaurant of the day–a traditional country-style Chinese-Portuguese restaurant in Macau called Fernando’s, celebrating Dad’s 90th birthday with Chinese friends. Over after-dinner drinks, one of his former students leaned over to me  and said, “You see us all giving so much honor to your father, even though he was in Hong Kong over 50 years ago. So many of us have lived successful, meaningful, full lives since then. Is it all because of your father? No, we worked hard, we made some good decisions, we had our share of good fortune and God’s blessings. But we honor your father because our lives are like a long line of dominoes leading us to the present, and your father tipped over the first domino. Without him the rest of the dominoes would never have fallen.”

Brief Biography of Mel Kieschnick

Melvin Martin Kieschnick 1927-2014

Melvin Martin Kieschnick, son of Oscar and Lena Kieschnick, was born December 10, 1927 in Walburg, TX. He was one of 9 children. After attending Zion Lutheran School, Walburg, and Concordia Academy, Austin, he received a B.S. from Concordia Teachers College in River Forest, Illinois in 1950. Beginning as a teacher like his father, by the time of his retirement Mel was widely known as one of the leading Christian Educators of the 20th Century.

From 1950-1956 Mel served as teacher and principal of Lutheran schools in Tracy, CA and Glendale, CA. During this time he married Jane Kieschnick–a marriage that sustained him for 73 years. While living in Tracy, Mel and Jane welcomed their first child, David.

From 1956-1965 Mel served as an educational missionary in Hong Kong, where he chartered and administered many schools, including Concordia Lutheran School, and the Hong Kong International School. During this time, Mel and Jane welcomed 4 more children: Peggy, Tim, Liz, and John.

Returning to the United States in 1965, Mel served in positions of increasing scope in Chicago, Ann Arbor, and St. Louis, ultimately leading education worldwide for the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. At the time, this was the second largest private school system in the U.S.

From 1976-1983 Mel lived in Encinitas, CA where he helped lead Parent Effectiveness Training (PET). PET taught communications and collaborative problem-solving skills to parents, and Mel helped expand the program to Clergy, Educators, Leaders, and Youth, both domestically and internationally.

In 1984, Mel moved to New York, where he served in a wide variety of roles supporting Lutheran Education, particularly in New York City and other urban settings.

In 1993 Mel retired “for the first time.” He and Jane moved to Carlsbad, CA. In addition to serving as a trusted advisor for individuals and organizations locally and world-wide, Mel committed his extensive expertise and skills to Calvary Lutheran Church, Solana Beach, CA where he remained a valuable part of the church community until his death.

Mel was a highly sought-after speaker and workshop facilitator. He lectured at over 300 conferences internationally and authored 5 books and over 300 articles.

Mel died peacefully in his sleep on December 26, 2024 in Carlsbad, CA. He is survived by Jane Kieschnick, his wife of 73 years, his siblings Doris Wottrich, Ethel Mickan, John Kieschnick, and Darlene Cunningham, his children Peggy Kieschnick, Tim Kieschnick, Liz Kieschnick, and John Kieschnick, 8 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild.

Bind Us Together, Lord

In my most recent BLOG I focused on the pain and sorrow of being bound together by one’s feet, one’s house or one’s conscience. Even as I was writing that another refrain kept running through my mind. It was deep request, not for relief from being bound, but for being bound. 

 

    Bind us together, Lord,

    Bind us together with cords that cannot be broken.

     Bind us together, Lord.

     Bind us together in love.

In contrast to imposed restrictive ties created by humans this hymn is a plea for the Lord to bind us in love. The hymn specifically prays for this union with God-and then also with one another. That which  binds is divine love made most evident in the life and sacrifice of Jesus and then also love between humans.

The first of such human bindings that comes to my mind is “mother’s love.” I never cease to marvel at that incredible characteristic. This struck me very hard recently when I witnessed a mother who could not feel and did not demonstrate any special feeling for her own young child. I watched that interaction with deep sadness. I am so grateful that this is a rare psychological ailment. Much more common is seeing  how a mother pushes one baby in a stroller, tries too keep an eye on another and  is speaking to a to a third. I recall how my wife and my mother spent countless hours just showing unbridled love for their offspring. Of course one also sees this in fathers and yet I believe the binding between child and mother is a unique and wonderful gift from God, a unique binding together in love.

Another cherished binding experienced by many is the powerful binding together in love between married spouses. (I am not sure if it is the same with two “partners” who have chosen to live together-but have not married. I think married love is unique.) I just think of Jane’s love for me. It is still there and maybe even growing as we approach our 70tht wedding anniversary . This love, too, is unique and for those who have it, it is a gift to be thankful for and to be celebrated 24 hours a day.

So, being bound by forces outside of one’s self can be  one of the greatest burdens of life and being bound in love freely chosen  and then returned is indeed “the greatest of all”.

My Kids Encounter with Police: Tim

Tim’s encounters with police began when he was still in high school. He and his good friend (and future lead drummer for Jimmy Buffet ) Pete Mayer worked at the famous St. Louis Drews Ice Cream Store. They closed it down at the end of the day and so it was often well after 10:00 pm when they were driving back to their home in the suburb of Crestwood It was there that they were repeatedly pulled over by the police. They had proper I.Ds. They had no evidence of liquor. They carried no weapons. They never once got a ticket, yet their being stopped became common. Once they were stopped right in front of Peter’s home. Another time they were on their way to church for a Lenten worship service at which they were to play their instruments.

It was only in retrospect that Tim figured out what was going on. He had a major afro hair style. He thinks that in the dark he was mistaken for being black, A black person driving after 10:00 p.m. in Crestwood got the attention of police and hence the frequent stops. Of course, it was terrible racial profiling.

He was in college when we got the call  (from his sister Peggy ) that Tim was in jail in Valparaiso, IN. He was there because he acted foolishly and suffered the consequences. He lived with his buddies in a music fraternity house. Just a few hundred yards down from them the University had closed down a facility as it was to be demolished and replaced. Looking through one of the basement windows the students had noticed that a pretty good looking piano was visible . Curiosity about the condition of that piano led Tim to investigate. He did it at night. He did it by crawling through a partially open window which he broke as he climbed through. The police arrived. Stupidly Tim hid in a closet. The  police found him. They  made a great deal of  what in my opinion was a rather minor mistake and handcuffed him. And the next thing I knew his fellow-student and sister Peggy was on the phone “Hey, dad. Tim is in jail! What do we do next?” He actually had to go before a judge and did some community service. I have no idea whether or not that piano ever made it to the fraternity house.

Later Tim got very involved in protests against both the Viet Nam War and the proliferation of atomic weapons. He was arrested more than once in more than one state.

He is still active in both music and civil rights activities so I guess his encounters with police have not diminished his commitment.  Now in retirement he chooses to do it in ways that do not result in confrontation with the police.

My Kids' Encounters With Police: John

My youngest son John  had his first encounter with the police while he was  in junior high. Technically it was not the police but the security guards at Disney World. He was excited to be there for his first visit. Two of the three friends with him were visitors from Sweden. The mother of one of his companions was along as their chaperone. The four boys had just enjoyed a ride on one of the big Ferris wheels and were looking for their next ride when they were stopped by Disney police. One of the officers grabbed John, held him firmly and said, “Young man, we are arresting you for throwing pyrotechnics.” John expressed his innocence and amazement and told them he didn’t even know what pyrotechnics were. His three friends all vouched for his innocence. Then one of the officers had a near-by  teenager identify John  saying, “That’s the guy, I guess he threw away the cap he was wearing.”   

” I haven’t been wearing a cap. I threw  nothing,” John insisted..

Then Mrs. Blackistone arrived She explained she was with the boys, asked about the exact time the incident supposedly occurred and then verified that the boys were with her getting a soft drink at the exact time of the alleged incident.  Their protestations did not prevail. John was held for an hour in isolation and then they were kicked out of the park. Our two Swedish young friends could not believe this could happen in the USA. When I wrote a letter of protest to the Disney authorities, they never even responded

It was only a year later when John was stopped again. This time John was not only confronted but actually had handcuffs placed on him and was  forced into a police car. This was all a couple blocks from Redeemer Lutheran Church in San Diego at the very time I was preaching for the second service. That morning. John had gone with me, worshipped at the early service and then while waiting for me to preach at the second service had decided to just walk  around the neighborhood. The  police had stopped John, put handcuffs on him, brought him to the church property. A member of the congregation had called the police and now identified John as the person  he’d seen earlier enter a car in the church parking lot and take something from  that car.

While all this was going on a member of Redeemer arrived back at his car and asked what the police action was all about. He then explained that he earlier had forgotten something he wanted to take into the church with him and so he was the one who had taken something from his own car. Then the “accuser” recognized his error. He admitted it, apologized to John and then looked for me so he could also explain to me all that had happened.

After that John chose not to go with me when I preached at Redeemer.

My Kids Encounters With The Police: Peggy

Daughter Peggy’s encounters with the police were professional. She had just graduated from Valparaiso University. Her very first job was with an organization  called The Bradely Half Way House. It  was a project where prisoners spent a bit of time just prior to their official release from prison. Some were long time prisoners, others very short term. The goal was for the prisoners to live in the House, get some time on the street during the day, return at night and make plans for their release. Unacceptable behavior resulted in a delay of the official release and a return to prison.

Several factors exacerbated the challenges Peggy faced in dealing with the prisoners, some of whom were quite long term. Peggy was very young, only 20 years old. She was a slim, attractive blonde. She was white. She was idealistic.

With great support from her superiors, she did her job well. By combining empathic listening with strong confrontation skills and much consultation with her boss, she with both police and prisoners worked together to get the prisoners released, to enter society and not to return to incarceration.