Bad Dreams

 

I dream every night. I regret to say that my dreams are seldom satisfying. In fact they are often bad dreams. The dominant theme in those bad dreams is golf. I calculate that I I have had more than 500 dreams about me playing golf-and 500 of them have been bad !  Examples: I am at the tee and the fairway is 325 years away, all over a water-filled hazard. Or I am trying to drive off the first tee while confined to the front seat of my car. I have lost my golf bag or clubs in my dreams many, many times. And now something is strange. About a   month ago I planned to write this BLOG about dreams. I have not had a single dream with a golf theme now for  that whole period.

 Night before last I had a dream about a former co-worker. She is Linda Adams, the widow of my former boss, Dr. Thomas Gordon. I dreamt that I went to her office here in Solana Beach, CA. In my dream she showed me that she had developed the open space behind the offices, had planted trees, a fine-looking young man had assisted her. His name was Brad and he encouraged me to  join him in some physical exercises. All in all, a pretty good dream. I told Linda about my surprising dream. Then I was really surprised to hear that, In fact, there were some new offices on the back part of her lot and one of the renters of that property is a gentleman named Brad! (and she has NO intentions of being married to him.).

In high school I learned that many psychologists believe that dreams are the expressions of unrealized or deep fears. If that is true for me those hopes and fears must remain very deeply embedded.

My daughter Elizabeth is a professional therapist. She broke her usual custom of never offering psychological advice to a family member and talked with me about my bad dreams. She urged me to write down my dreams each morning. She suggested that be very careful in what I read or watch on television just before I go to bed. She encouraged that just before I go to sleep I should image beautiful nature scenes in bright technicolor. The few times that I have actually followed  advice I  find that she is right, my dreams are more pleasant. 

So, I have already acted against my better instincts which tell me that no one is interested in another person’s dreams. I hastily close this BLOG with this hope for you: Sweet Dreams!

Where There Is No Vision

The old proverb “Where There Is No Vision The People Perish” hit it right on the head. One of the lessons about organizations that I learned early in my career is that no organization will ever rise above the vision of its principal leader. This first became apparent to me as I worked with Lutheran elementary schools. Whenever I visited one that made me feel proud to be a part of that system. I soon learned that the school had a principal who was clear in his or her vision. Tragically I also worked with teachers who became very frustrated in what their school looked like. In every situation I had to tell the classroom teachers to do the very best they could in their own classroom-and no matter how well they performed the overall culture and achievement would not rise above that of their principal.

What I first observed in schools became even more clear when I looked at Christian congregations. For better or worse, how a congregation performs and what its culture is, it is clearly dependent upon the vision of its senior pastor. This can lead to deep frustration when members are clear of what the preferred future looks like and their senior pastor does not share that perspective. On the other hand, when the pastor has a clear and inspiring vision, consistently lays that before the members and mobilizes them to move toward that vision the entire organization is energized and wants to get involved.

In recent years all management consultants who work with organizations (religious or secular ) take this reality very seriously. By now some of us are almost bored when working with these consultants because we know that we will all have to go through the process of identifying our vision, our mission, our core values. Boring it may be-but vital nonetheless.

What is true of school and churches is also very true at the national societal level. As anAmerican I look closely at what our presidents say about their vision of America. What is the vision of America’s role in the world? What is the vision of a more equitable American society?What is the vision of the role of the individual citizen, of the military, the police, Wall Street?

I am writing this BLOG the day before the inauguration of President Biden. So, my head and heart are very involved in wrestling with what the vision is for my country. I am pretty clear about what President Trump’s vision was and I pray that President Biden has a vision which will lead us to an era in which our highest values of freedom, mutual respect, equality and prosperity

for all the people of the world will be expressed-and then pursued and made real.

Old Dreams New Visions

For some reason or other I have been thinking a lot about dreams and visions lately. Some of the thoughts and memories are very good. I think about all the dreams I have had for my life that have come true.

Family visions are central. I have been so blessed Jane and I have been married for nearly 70 years (certainly longer than I dreamed of so many years ago). The relationship still feels so good and seems to deepen with the years. While our eldest son David entered eternal peace 6 years ago, the other 4 children have good marriages and are financially comfortable. Most importantly, they have values that I strongly affirm and they act on those values with integrity and faithfulness.

I had a very satisfying career and still find ways to make small differences. I recently published my BLOGS in paperback format and quite a few colleagues from years past have read them, contacted me and stirred afresh memories of past successful collaborations.

One of my early dreams had been to see the world and to eat different foods. That dream came true well beyond my expectations as I visited at least 36 countries. My food options have ranged from fried chicken in Texas to steamed frogs inChina.

My spiritual dream of having a relationship with God became realized as my life experiences and wide reading made me examine and reevaluate many concepts. I remain grateful for a faith that provides hope and purposes within an ever-changing system of religious insights and convictions based on the surety that God is good.

I have to actually stop for a while to recall visions that did not come true. Visions I had of making a difference in some organizations were not fulfilled. My dream of what the Christian church could look like and my role in that too often has not come true. My dream of a society free of racism and vast differences in the quality of day-to-day life is still too often a dream and not a reality.

So I think about what visions remain and I rest comfortable and grateful that so many of my visions have in the past and continue in the present to come true..

Mel's Blog Posts Now in Paperback

 

RESOUNDING JOY:Moment of Reflection

The other night Jane and I watched a virtual presentation by the organization known as RESOUNDING JOY. It was with great satisfaction and appreciation that we heard of the wonderful music therapy ministry this amazing organization provides. It uses music therapy to bring healing and hope to so many hurting people: military veterans, survivors of torture, children facing life threatening illnesses, lonely elderly and more. This is a very impressive list and it brought joy to me to just image all those people who find hope and peace through music therapy provided by this wonderful group. I also noticed that in all the credit references the founder and Executive Director was never mentioned. That is Barbara Reuer. I am sure this omission of any mention of her was completely with her approval-and maybe even at her insistence. Barbara is a very competent and caring individual who in the interest of the greater good always suppresses any personal ego needs. Listening to the moving testimony of so many brought my mind back some 20 years to a simple lunch at a Thai restaurant in Solana Beach. I was there at the invitation of Barbara. She shared with me how blessed she was to be one of the first in our nation to get a PhD in Music Therapy. She shared her pleasure in using music to bring healing to many, including hurting people in our Lutheran congregation. However, she also shared two frustrations. She felt there was so much more music therapy that could be done through churches and she felt that her contribution toward making that happen had been way too limited. She felt so frustrated that she wanted to make a major change in her professional life. She wondered if she could perhaps start an organization with the goal of reaching congregations across the USA and equipping them to do music therapy. Her dream, of course, had one major obstacle and she had no idea how to overcome it. She had no money and knew of no source to get start-up funding. Now she may or may not have known that I was associated with an organization which did exactly that: provide funding for charitable start-up organizations. At the time it was called Wheat Ridge Ministries now called WE RAISE FOUNDATION. Its mission statement was clear: Provide Start-up funds for organizations bringing healing and hope. 

Barbara and I wrote a proposal requesting, I think, $45,000.00. The grant was made. Barbara did the rest. Her exact plan of delivering music therapy through local congregations did not work out but the alternative which she developed which utilized music interns from around the country to do focused ministry in a local area like San Diego has been a smashing success. Every day people and organizations from all over San Diego county are being restored and given hope through Barbara’s wonderful organization with special thanks to many people and other organizations who provide their money or in-kind contributions. It is all great. And I have the quiet satisfaction that I, too, got more than just some good Thai food out of that wonderful lunch with Barbara Reuer.

Covid-19 It’s a Hoax

 I keep hearing the message:” Mel, don’t be so concerned about Covid-19. It is a hoax. Last month I went to Texas to attend a Celebration of Life for my sister-in Law Elaine. It was a simple, yet profound ceremony at my brother John’s home. There were 28 of us there; three (3) of us wore masks. The message: The virus is not so bad; in fact, it is mostly a hoax. My sister Darline skipped the “mostly”. It’s a hoax, she was convinced. She cited as an example the deaths in the home for the elderly in her hometown. “We have had more than a dozen deaths in the home,” she affirmed. “They said it was all from the Virus. I don’t believe it for a minute. Those poor old people all died of loneliness! This whole thing is a hoax!” I have a good friend from church whom I admire. He scoffs at the idea of taking all these unnecessary precautions. His argument “We are all going to die sooner or later. What is so bad about dyeing now rather than later? I am happy to take my planned trip to Minnesota or Chicago or wherever. If I die it’s because my hour has come…And as far as our church is concerned, let’s get together NOW and worship as the family we are !” We have a President (for another few weeks ) who refuses to wear a mask, who gathers crowds, who wants everything open. He himself had Covid, People around hm by the tens are unable to come to work because they have the disease. His message, “Ignore it. If you just ignore it, it will go away. Just be as smart as I am: Recognize a hoax when you see one !” On TV news this evening I heard of a woman who had lost her husband and two other members of her family. Her conviction, “I don’t know what they died of, but I am sure it was NOT Covid. That Covid stuff is just bull --!” My reaction: I believe the health experts. I hear the number of deaths from Covid in the world, our country and San Diego County. And I wear my mask. I don’t have guests in my apartment. I pray for patience and an answer to my impatient prayer, “ From this deliver us, Heavenly Father.”

Mighty Mentors of Ministry

My wife and I live in a Retirement Community. Because of vulnerability to Covid-19 we are almost in a lock-down situation. After more than three months it really got to me. I felt locked in. Then came all the social unrest, massive crowds, Black Lives Matter and looting of property - day after day after day. I watched it all and got depressed. “All this is going on and I am not making the slightest bit of difference for anyone! What’s the point of living!”

 

The phone rang. It was Shamayel Ameri, a Muslim woman here from Afghanistan. She fled from the Taliban because she was next on their “kill list”. She thanked me for what I have been doing for her for six years. Her call reassured me. Sometimes the call to make a difference is to simply make a difference in one person’s life.

 

That is my call today. Find one person. Learn from and influence that one person. Have that person be someone of a skin color, ethnicity or sexual orientation other than yours. Get to know that person. Be a friend and mentor. Listen. Learn. Eat at each other’s home. 

 

My life has been enriched by just such relationships with a Chinese descendent of Confucius, the lone female Lutheran school principal in an LCMS District with 117 schools, a gay family member, a black principal of a Lutheran school. Each made a difference in my life and just maybe I made a difference in theirs.