Killers

I am in my office in downtown St. Louis. At noon. On a Saturday. It’s the one time of the week when there are no scheduled meetings, no coworkers seeking appointments, no telephone calls. The telephone rings.

Beyond my wildest expectations (it had never happened before) my Mother is calling from Texas.

“Melvin, I have bad news,” she said with a firmness of voice held steady by sheer force of will. “Your sister Miriam has been shot in the head. I’m afraid the whole back of her head is gone. There was a bank robbery at the Walburg State Bank. She lay face down on the floor just as the robber ordered. But as he left he still fired the gun at her. And, oh yes, your Uncle Reinhold has also been shot. We’re quite sure he’ll survive. But we are not so sure about Miriam. I know you’ll join us in prayer.”

My thoughts turn to Mimi, one of my six sisters. Intelligent, vivacious, Director of Nurses at a hospital - shot - critically - dying. Of course I pray, fervently.

What about the robber? I assume it’s a male. I assume he thought this small bank in a small Texas town was an easy Saturday morning target. I assume he was frightened or on drugs. He had the money. Why did he have to shoot to kill?

Soon further details emerge via phone and radio: The robber had fired again. This time he instantly killed the state trooper who had stopped his fleeing vehicle.

Further developments: miraculously Miriam survives. The robber is apprehended. Giving thanks for the miracle my mind turns to the murderer. He has already admitted guilt. What should be his fate? Texas, of course, has the death penalty. The murderer killed a peace officer, for crying out loud! My sister is alive, but she’ll always have a black hole in that part of the brain where the bullet blasted away her optic nerve.

Yet, even as I mourn for the trooper, his widow and young daughter left behind, even as I struggle with my anger at the brute who attempted to murder my sister, I cannot force myself to wish for him the death penalty.

In this apparent bleeding heart liberal response, I am out of step with the very Texas culture in which I was raised and in which so many of my values were shaped. Texas is where the death penalty is more common than in any other state. Texas, in fact, accounts for one third of all public executions in the USA. Texas is where six convicted killers were recently executed in the span of only 2 weeks. Texas is where I was taught in church catechism class, ”All they that take the sword shall perish by the sword.”

But my heart won’t buy it. I can’t get myself to believe that killing to punish killing, or killing to prevent killing, or killing to teach people not to kill is not rational nor has it ever proved to be a detriment to further killing.

So in my sometimes lonely meditations I thank God for saving Mimi from the would-be killer. I pray that I will not be a party to another killing even in the name of justice or for the purpose of teaching someone a lesson.