Memory Loss

I just had my 83rd birthday. I am grateful for overall good health. Of course, I notice a diminution of some skills: my golf drives are much shorter; my body strength is less, my libido diminished. But overall I think, and my Dr. confirms, that I am doing well. However, one aspect of ageing that is becoming more apparent is memory loss. I have decided to document and share my history. My goal is to (if I can remember) each year after my birthday post a blog on “Memory Loss”; so here goes.

The first evidence of my memory loss had to do with the inability to recall numbers. I found that I have great difficulty, for example, remembering house numbers. Another disturbing symptom: remembering specific places not having to do with numbers. Just this morning I went shopping with my wife and agreed that after an hour we would meet at a specific location in the mall. An hour later I was waiting for her at the wrong place. I experienced a different kind of embarrassment with my Christmas letter. In writing of my son’s health situation I wrote that our son had a routine “autopsy” when I meant “biopsy”. After that was called to my attention I made correction to the next batch of letters and then promptly forgot to make the change in the next batch. (This resulted in son David having to post a message on Facebook that his father’s announcement regarding his son’s death was premature.

It is interesting to reflect on areas where memory seems to have remained the same. Crossword puzzles are no more difficult than ten years ago-even when the clues require significant memory. I find I can still deliver a speech of 15 minutes or more without consulting my notes. Class lectures seem not to be affected. I am not finding it necessary to reread articles or sections of books.

So I am wondering what brain specialists would tell me. Are some synapses being disconnected? Do brain cells die or is plaque being formed? How much is it a matter of attention or focus? Consciousness and self-awareness are just a couple of the characteristics that define us as humans and so also, losing some bits of memory are defining who I am at this stage in my life. And how I cope with it will be a part of that continuing definition of self.