Attention

The noted French mystic Simone Weil wrote, “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” Recently that struck me dramatically. In the first instance it was actually I who acted generously even though it didn’t seem like much at the time. It was casual enough. I spoke with a person who had been sitting alone at the complimentary breakfast counter of the chain motel at which we both stayed while we attended a conference. All I really did was listen as she responded to my “How are things going?”. It turned out that she was anxiously awaiting word as to whether or not her application for a PhD scholarship at Harvard had been accepted. It was easy to empathize with her. She was honest about her emotions. I too have spent time waiting for responses to proposals. Basically I just attended because I did care.

A couple weeks later she sent me an email. She didn’t get the scholarship. Yet she focused on how important it was to her to have had those minutes together with me. She felt someone had paid attention, had listened, and it was appreciated.

What happened in that little exchange and what doesn’t happen in a million situations similar to that every day is simply the matter of attention. It is difficult to be in a room or situation where absolutely no one pays attention to you. It is disconcerting (to say the least) to be at a dinner with a couple, to ask them about their lives etc., to listen empathically to that and to then never hear in response anything close to “And how about you?”

I admire Bill Gates and Warren Buffet and their incredibly wonderful generosity. It touches millions. And I contemplate on how millions of others could be blessed if every day every person just decided to perform their own single act of that rarest and purest form of charity, to just pay attention to another person.