Let’s Meet at the Bar

 

“Let’s meet at the bar.” It has been years since I have heard that welcome invitation. Nor have I extended that suggestion for a long time. And I miss it. It is not that I spent that much time there. But on occasion it was wonderful to meet colleagues at the bar or to just go with my wife, or as a rare event to just quietly sit there alone. But that has not happened for a long time and in the last few weeks, for some reason or other, I have missed it. I was kind of hoping someone would say to me, “Mel, let’s just meet at the bar.”

The thought was further stimulated by a very interesting book I have just finished reading. It is “Crossing the Bar” by James Johnson, a man who was a Lutheran pastor for some 20 years and then spent the next years owning and operating a bar in Red Lodge, Montana.

In his book he has an interesting list of characteristics. He asks the reader to identify each description with either the church or a favorite bar. The list includes such items as “This is a safe place to be,” “Here you meet new friends.” “Here you are not judged,” “Strangers feel welcome and you find new friends here.” There are actually 40 items on the list and each item makes for thoughtful reflection.

When I accepted the invitation to “Let’s meet at the bar” I often found myself there with colleagues with whom I could complain or brag or commiserate. At other times it was a place where I could share my anger, hopes, latest joke or reason for celebration. Or maybe it just provided the space to not have to be “on duty,” not have to worry about the next assignment, not feel pushed for what has to be done next.

I wonder what it says about me and my current life situation - that I have trouble thinking of a person living close enough to me to whom I could easily extend that invitation. But whether it might come from near-by or from some unexpected friend far away, I want to say that I am ready to respond “Yes!” to the next person who invites: “Let’s meet at the bar”.