The Sixth Commandment

People may not even remember the prohibitions of each of the Ten Commandments, but everyone seems to know there is one that says very explicitly “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” I want to focus first on the blessings that come from keeping this commandment, especially as it relates to being sexually faithful to one’s spouse.

Jane and I have been married for 61 years. There have been lots of good things in our marriage (and, of course, also a few rough spots). One of the really great things about our marriage is that both of us are absolutely truthful in asserting that we have not committed adultery, in terms of having sex with anyone other than each other. I fudge on saying I’ve kept the commandment perfectly because Jesus did say that even to lust after another woman is to commit adultery. But with that caveat aside I have found that being faithful in the matter of sex has implications ways beyond sex.

Faithfulness in these areas is just a pointer to even deeper faithfulness in love, commitment, support, and comfort. And by looking at past faithfulness we get a glimpse of the future. I know that we will be faithful if it ever comes to issues like long-term care, dealing with memory loss, having to be wheeled about, being reminded of when to take drugs, making personal messes with clothes, furniture and carpets! And at the heart of it all is undying faithfulness, which we have evidenced in our sex lives. There can hardly be a greater blessing and joy in a marriage relationship.

After saying all those positive things about marriage I also bring up the other side: having adulterous relationships. I recently finished the tome The Kennedy’s: After Camelot. The Kennedy men were infamous about not taking The Sixth Commandment very seriously; I was shocked to read how one Kennedy brother reportedly assured another brother with a message something like ,“Remember, the good news. Just because you are married to person A does not mean you have to stop having sex with person B.” Wow! How is that for brotherly advice!

Another aspect of the Kennedy’s spousal relationship and The Sixth Commandment is how the Commandment seemed to apply only to the women. It would have been scandalous had one of Kennedy female spouses had an affair, but when it was the guys it was overlooked.

Reflecting upon the fact that each of the Commandments is designed to protect us and our neighbors it is so good to see how this commandment helps protect one of life’s most precious relationships,  that made between committed partners.