It Still Hurts

“I’m glad it still hurts,” said Wayne.” He was leading devotions at a Lutheran School Administrators Conference. He was principal of the oldest Lutheran parochial school in America, St. Matthews, Manhattan, New York City. What he was speaking of was his need to fire a teacher. There were plenty of reasons for the dismissal. The teacher was failing. The kids were not being well served. He had tried to help, but to no avail. So he fired the teacher. It hurt both him and the one let go. It was not the first time he had fired someone. Yet we all knew he meant it with all his heart when he said, “I’m glad that it still hurts”. It hurts to end another person’s employment.


It stirred up memories of the times it has been necessary for me to terminate a colleague’s employment. It’s never easy and never more difficult than in my early years in Hong Kong. It was really difficult to find a job in those days. It was often especially difficult for some teachers for they were frequently without documents to prove their education background. They had fled for their lives with only the clothes on their backs. They didn’t always have the remotest chance of carrying their official diplomas and the schools from which they had graduated were now closed by the Communists. The school records were all burned.

However, we had gotten Mr. Wong certified to teach. He was overwhelmed with joy and appreciation. Now he could get off the street. He could feed himself. After a few months he was able to buy a suit to replace the one from the charity bin. However, I soon discovered that he was (in King James language) not apt to teach. There was no classroom discipline. The only method he used was lecture. I observed him often and made suggestions. I had my academic dean try to assist him. It was decided that we would not renew his contract. This would have tragic consequences. In the Chinese idiom, “His rice bowl would be broken.” He would have a very hard time getting another job. His loss of face was overwhelming.

I will never forget the day I had to give him the bad news. It was the right thing to do yet it hurt me to do it. It still hurts. I’m glad it still hurts.