Reflections on a Long and Blessed Life No. 50: A Bad Habit

Very early in my professional career I developed a bad habit. It started while I was at St. Paul, Tracy CA and got worse through the years. I did not overcome it until after I retired. The bad habit: workaholism. I was a workaholic. At first it was something that had little effect on anyone else. I was single. I was living alone in a single rented bedroom. There were so many tasks to do. I was asked to do them. I felt I could do them well so I did them.

In those early days I taught grades 4-8. I was the school principal. I taught Sunday School teachers every other week. I taught a Bible Class every Sunday. Weekly I went to choir practice. On a regular basis I went to school board meeting, church council meetings, men’s club, P.T.A Executive Committee and then regular PTA meetings. I served on the denomination’s District Youth Committee, the area Principals Conference Committee. I attended graduate school and gathered used newspapers to sell to raise money for school supplies. On Sunday evenings I led the youth group (the Walther League. .I played on city sports teams throughout the year moving from basketball to softball to baseball.   

When I got married and had first one and eventually 5 children I never slowed down. I took calls (new positions) with different specific responsibilities, all of which just spurred me on.   

Of course, these actions had undesirable consequences. I was unfair to Jane and my children. The task of raising them fell very much to her. It was only rarely that I took time to read to them, bathe them or dress them or do fun things with them. In later years it got so bad that I did not even want to take vacations. I remember that after I had been in Hong Kong for 4 years without taking a vacation the Board for Missions sent me a formal warning “If I did not take a vacation they would no longer guarantee paying for my health plan.”   

Why all this hyper-activity? Several factors: 1. I really enjoyed what I was doing. I loved my work and the challenges it presented and the difference it made. 2.These positive results “felt good” and spurred me on to do more. 3.People affirmed me.4. I was doing “God’s work”. Somehow or other it failed to register in my brain that spending time with wife and family, taking care of my body, getting a good night’s sleep would also be doing” God’s work”. And so it was that year after year I just took for granted that I would work 70+ hour work weeks, never go to bed before 11:00, and on Sunday night (when I did not have another duty) I was sure to be at my desk from 8:00-11:00 pm.  

 Now in retrospect I see that I was stubborn and unresponsive to the good advice and incredible forbearance of my wife and family. I am eternally grateful that they (and God) have forgiven me. I have finally learned), at least most of the time, to say “No” when that is the appropriate answer.  .

I have learned to not work “after dinner”, to enjoy reading good books , even before 11:00 pm. I have learned to admire my children, all of whom have done a much better job than I did at balancing work, family, self-care etc.  

And I am grateful to know that having been forgiven by both God and family I need not lament my past failures. Rather, I have come to live the more balanced life to which God had called me now for almost 90 years and who knows for how many more.