Say It: "I love you and so does God."

Say it: “I love you. So Does God.”

One thing I have been absolutely sure of all my life is that my Mother loved me. She certainly demonstrated that day after day, year after year. I was number three out of the nine children that she bore. It is impossible to count the number of loads of laundry she did, all before the days of automatic washers or dryers. Each of us kids took our turn at having the measles, whooping cough, mumps, and red-eye. I grew up during the great depression and even dad’s salary of $60.00 a month was not always paid so she scrimped as she made us our daily portion of potatoes and gravy. And I will never forget her sound advice given to me when I was frustrated with our meager diet. She always said, “If you are hungry then jelly bread tastes good.” But three words I did not hear from her were “Melvin, I love you.”

Maybe there was something in our German heritage that frowned upon expressions of endearment. Maybe it had not been the custom in her childhood. I just know that it was not part of my growing-up memories to hear those words. So it is not surprising that when I was in my late thirties and our family was going through some stressful times that I first recall her saying to me “Melvin, I love you.” And it was wonderful to hear those words even if I had never doubted that truth.

Then ten years later we had concluded a difficult talk in which I revealed that I was resigning a significant position in The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod and was transferring to another Lutheran body that she said to me “Mel, I love you and so does God “.

I guess the fact that I remember that incident today, decades later, proves how important they were to me. And they have been helpful to me in passing on to others. I have learned the lesson that at the appropriate time I can assure another that I love them by saying those simple words “I love you.”

To add the expression “And so does God’ is sometimes a vitally important addition. I think one must guard against using that phrase too flippantly or too casually as if it were be just an everyday casual expression. But at the right moment and said with genuine conviction those four added words carry very special significance to the hearer.  I know I have been told by others, “No one has ever before told me that they loved me and so does God.”

One of the pledges of Christian baptism is that the baptized say that they will “Proclaim God’s love in Christ through word and deed”. One of the simplest and yet most profound way to do that is to simply and honestly say to another, “ I love you. And so does God.”

Walking Wet

The baptism of an infant at my church recently was especially meaningful to me. The baby had two siblings who had joined the baptismal group around the baptismal font. When it came time for the actual baptism the pastor asked the two little ones (about 3 and 5 years of age) to join in and to also sprinkle a bit of water on the head of their little sister as the pastor pronounced the words, “I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of The Holy Spirit.” Then he took the infant in his arms and marched down the center aisle of the sanctuary. The beaming baby, still wet from the water seemed angelic  .It deeply touched me as I reflected that she was my sister in Christ. I tried to imagine the life that lay before her and the many joys and blessings she could bring to others. Her “Walking Wet” touched me deeply.

In my reverie I recalled another baptism now more that 50 Years ago. It was an Easter service at Concordia Lutheran Church in Hong Kong. We baptized 200 students from the school of which I was principal. This was very significant. We enrolled around 2000 students in that kdg-grade 12 school. New enrolees numbered only about 5% Christian. So to add 200 or more baptized students to our enrolment meant a great deal. I wondered how they would make a difference. How would their classmates know that these friends were now baptized? I urged them to “Walk Wet.” Just be what you are, a beloved child of God. Be honest in your schoolwork. Treat teachers and others with respect and kindness. Don’t cheat. Use no bad language Tell no dirty jokes. Tell others you love them. Remember to pray. Attend worship. Be pleased to tell others that you are baptized. Just “Walk Wet “

Now these many years after that event I find myself in a very different environment, a Retirement Community of some 900 residents. And I ask myself, ”How many of the people here know me? Of those who do know me how many know that I am a baptized Christian? How do I “Walk Wet?” What words have I spoken, what actions have I taken, what behaviors have I demonstrated? How empathetically have I listened? Of course, I realize I could do more things or say more words to “proclaim the love of God in Christ” but I am also grateful that in some small and big ways I am faithful to the baptismal call as day by day I try to simply to  “Walk Wet.”

Let Your Ears Do the Talking

I have been asked to share a brief reflection at my church’s Lenten supper next Wednesday. The topic is the charge given to the newly baptized to “Proclaim God’s love in Christ in word and deed.” When I saw that first word “PROCLAIM” I immediately realized that “proclaim” is not a welcome word to most people. It is not at all unusual to have people say that they are quite uncomfortable with making any public speech. . And an order with the word  “proclaim” is likely to result in an initial response ,“Not me! I am not a proclaimer!”

I am grateful that I learned long ago that sometimes our most powerful way to show God’s love is by initially not proclaiming anything. Rather it is to just listen. That is why I truly believe that often the best way to proclaim God’ s love is to” Let Your Ears Do the Talking”

The power (yes, the ministry) of attending, of hearing, of active listening is sometimes the very best way of showing both human and divine love.

I recently did a little private experiment here at the retirement community at which my wife Jane and I live. I decided to either begin or insert into a conversation something about myself. It could be some experience I have had, some sharing of a previous encounter, an opinion about some current event or recalling a feeling I have been having. Then I would see if the person I was with would in any way follow-up on what I said. In the last 10 times I have done that not once has the person really followed up on my lead. Instead the person(s) talked about their experience, their insight or thought. In one recent case both Jane and I tried at least 3 times to move the conversation to a piece of our life. In every case the other just went right back to their own train of thought!

I am sure that there are times when I too failed to be a good listener. I do, however, place a high value on the importance of listening. For some reason or other I recall an experience of some 40 years ago. I was on a plane to Omaha Nebraska. I had a speech to give and was going over my notes not paying much attention to the woman seated to my left. However, I could not fail but notice that she was upset. So I began with just a brief comment or “door-opener“ as to whether she was afraid of flying. With just this little opening she began to speak, at first reluctantly, and then as I just listened she let it all come out. She was worried, fearful, guilty, ashamed and more. She told me she was returning to the small town from which she had moved. She was returning there to see her father. She had to tell her father of her failed marriage and impending divorce. He would be upset-in fact-very upset because in addition to caring for his daughter he was the pastor -of a Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod congregation! I gave no advice, shared no comparable experience, and did not speak of my position. I just listened. By the time we reached our destination she had become composed. She asked if we could just have a brief prayer together just before we disembarked. I was grateful that I (at least on this one occasion Let My Ears Do the Talking.)

And it is helpful for me to recall that it is our Heavenly Parent who often proclaims God’s love by just listening to me and the millions of others who speak with God in prayer every day.