Weddings II

 I enjoy writing blogs about weddings. Maybe that is because I have been so blessed in my relationship with my wife Jane and our marriage began with a wonderful wedding. Yet weddings were an important part of my life long before Jane and I had our wedding. 

When I was not yet in school I twice served as the ring bearer at weddings. I enjoyed doing that. I remember wearing a full suit and tie and having my hair carefully combed. I also remember some stress about “doing it right”. At one wedding I carried the rings for the couple on a small satin pillow. The rings were just laid on top of the pillow and I was told to be sure to not let them fall. The best man was especially concerned that the ring would slip off the pillow and down into my trousers. He twice told me he did not want to be in front of the congregation digging through my pants looking for those wedding rings!

I also remember that at one of those weddings, before we went to the reception after the ceremony at church, we went into Georgetown to a professional photographer to have pictures taken. And what I remember most is that while all that was going on a couple members of he wedding party kept urging me to kiss the flower girl. That was unthinkable and resolutely refused!

As mentioned in an earlier blog I especially loved going to the reception and being part of the small group of young boys who “held gate” and asked for a small donation from each car as it went through the fence gate to the farm house for the big party. There the meals were ALWAYS outstanding. There was always beef bar-b-cue. If the family was very poor and had trouble providing enough beef they would supplement the beef with a poor second choice: bar-b-cued mutton; but never chicken! Meals were served in three different seatings: first the wedding couple and the men, then the children and then the women.

After dinner there was often a bit of a “program.”  Central to that was my father singing a special song for the newly married. The songs were always in German and were improvised by my father. Depending upon the relative size of the two spouses dad would sing either “Die Kleine Frau” or “Die Grosse Frau” (The Small or the Large Wife”). I remember one section about the small wife having to climb a chair if she wanted to kiss her husband. After these ceremonies a” midnight lunch” was served to all. Then came to shivaree .Men friends of the couple came with their steel plow shares, wash tubs, and all kinds of other metal to make a big noise. They played until the groom called the helpers to bring on the beer and serve it to all the noisemakers. Technically there was no dancing during any of this since “Dancing is a Sin”. But the pastor knew not to stay too late because after the pastor left it was not unusual for actual dancing to begin!

 I had very little involvement in planning my own wedding and that was fine with me. There was no little boy ring bearer. Nor was there “gate-holding”, bar-b-cue, dancing or shivaree but it was wonderful. And for more than 68 years Jane and I have been doing our best to live out the call of the words from Psalm 34 which Pastor Weber encouraged us to embrace: “O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together.”