REFLECTIONS ON A LONG AND BLESSED LIFE NO.41: HOSPITALITY A WONDERFUL VIRTUE

 At one level it was just another dinner invitation. At another level it was a profound reminder of the great virtue of hospitality. We chatted on the phone working to agree when we would meet for a simple meal and deeper conversation. I offered pizza at our home. She said, “How about coming over to my place? I can grill some steak. I have a really nice bottle of wine just waiting for you.” It took me less than 5 seconds to respond. “When should we arrive?” When I hung up the phone I reflected upon hospitality. This is a custom expressed at all levels of society from the most primitive tribe in Africa through the oval office in the White House to China’s imperial palace. Every society has its own centuries-old (and ever newly emerging) ways to answer the question: “How do you show hospitality?”

I reflected upon the graciousness of my host. She is a single woman, living alone. Her business takes her to assignments all over the world. Her schedule is full. Yet, she didn’t hesitate to say, “Come on over.” I think I know where some of that hospitality comes from and I want to honor it. I know that she attended a Lutheran elementary school and that her father was a Lutheran parochial school teacher. So she and I share that mutual background. And I believe that hospitality was a key virtue I learned in Lutheran elementary school. I experienced it as people invited my large family over for many events. My Mother demonstrated it when I suddenly brought a softball team of high school guys into our home unexpectedly and within minutes she was setting the table and frying up scrambled eggs. So my memory is that the Lutheran school of my day and those who taught in it really believed that hospitality was an essential aspect of Christian living. And, of course they had ample Biblical support for teaching it.

Am I correct in judging that hospitality expressed by inviting people over to one’s home for a meal is a diminishing experience?  The number of times that Jane and I are invited into someone’s home for dinner is far less than it was for my parents. When we are invited out it is often (not always) an invitation following one we had initiated. At the same time it is true, of course, that having a meal together with another couple at a restaurant is far more prevalent than when I was child. In fact, to the best of my memory that never happened for me until I was 21 years of age.

So customs around hospitality vary greatly from culture to culture and are ever-changing. In the midst of that the command of Jesus to extend hospitality not only to our friends but also to those often excluded does not have an expiration date. In a recent class which I taught at my church I challenged all of us to this particular act of hospitality: “Invite to your house for a sit-down dinner an individual or a family who is of a different color, ethnic group, or speaker of a primary language other than yours.

So this evening Jane and I will have a special treat. We will have a grilled steak (and grilling steaks is not permitted at the retirement community in which we live) a glass or two of good wine, lively conversation, and even keeping a tab on the Cubs vs. the Indians…. all instilled in the heart of a young girl attending a good Lutheran elementary school.

(For previous Blogs on the topic of Hospitality see “Hospitality To Strangers” 7/19/09 and “Gracious Host” 3/27/09 at Mel’s M∧Ms.com or melsmyths.blogspot.com.)