Reflections On A Long and Blessed Life No. 69: Executive Director of of Parish Education for LCMS PartT 2 – 7/28/19

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I recall with regret that I was not a good husband and father while I served the church for four years in St Louis. I was so preoccupied with the challenges of my calling and all the turmoil in the denomination that I was not either physically or emotionally as available to my family as I should have been. Instead of me being the primary support for my spouse it was she who was ministering to me. I went for a couple years without once sleeping through the night. I worked way too many hours per week and was away from home too many days.

Meanwhile the lives of my wife and children continued. David, our eldest, was doing exceptionally well academically and was elected student body president of Concordia University Chicago. (Just as his father had been in 1950 and his grandfather in 1920) And he was faced with the reality that if he came out publicly as a gay person he would immediately be barred from serving as a rostered minister of the church into which he had been baptized. 

Tim and Peggy were a bit on the fringe of things at Lutheran High South as they advocated for persons who were continuously being fired from their calling at the church headquarters and seminary. Then they got wonderful financial aid at Valparaiso University and were outstanding students there (with Tim surviving being jailed for an ill -considered entry into an unoccupied campus building). And Peggy must have been the youngest freshman there when she enrolled as 16-year-old college freshman-having been in advanced placement classes when she first started school back in Hong Kong. Liz and John had mixed experiences at the Lutheran elementary school they attended- as John had a very controlling and fundamentalist teacher and Liz had encouraging, evangelical, caring and competent ones.

Jane had the new experience of living in the first house, which we were actually purchasing and even that got off to a bad start. The people from whom we bought the home could not get occupancy in their new home they were building so they and we lived together for some 6 weeks! Jane also faced the difficult reality that she listened to the cries (especially of wives) of co-workers who were all being evacuated from their homes at the directive of the then church leaders. She was powerless to do anything about it. She had to resist the urge to just go to downtown St. Louis with a protest sign in her hand. The stress level reached new high when she got a phone call with the voice on the other end anonymously announcing “ You are a terrible Mother. What your children are doing in supporting heretics will lead them straight to hell. And you will be the one who put them there!” The good news is that she also had a marvelous support group of a few women who joined her not only in tears but also in great moments of shared conversation, Bible study, music, laughter and mutual support. In the midst of it all this she found time to host my staff of over 45 for annual Christmas party meals and to provide room and board for two students who had to leave their dorms rooms at the seminary.

It is now 40 years ago that my family and I experienced our years in St. Louis. We choose to remember the support of friends, the joy of visiting the Budweiser Clydesdale horses which were pastured just the street from our home, the great love and care extended to us by many, new and deeper insights into the power of the Gospel and the ever growing conviction that the church must be a place  where all are welcomed and open to the incredible ways in which the Spirit gives life and hope.